Limestone Ledger

BLOOMINGTON, IN – It was a stunning revelation that sent shockwaves from Seymour to Hollywood.

Indiana legend and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer John Mellencamp told an audience in Bloomington that his massive 1983 hit ‘Pink Houses’ was not written about rural, small town American dreams and struggles, but rather, he penned it as a tribute to his fascination with all things Barbie as a child growing up in Southern Indiana.

The historic Buskirk-Chumley Theater hosted “Mellencamp: Favorite Son” as an opportunity for fans to engage with the singer-songwriter in an intimate setting. The conversation spanned his early days as an unsigned artist, his advocacy for the middle class, through to his current work as a visual artist. However, his response to a question about the importance of ‘Pink Houses’ to millions of overlooked, working class Americans left the audience gobsmacked.

“You know, I think enough time has passed and enough money has been made for me to finally clear the air,” said Mellencamp. “That song, with its imagery of little pink houses for everyone, is actually about being a little boy stuck in a tiny town and desperately wanting to have my own beautiful little pink house and a Barbie and a Ken so I could escape the chaos in my own home and create this perfect, idyllic life lived by two impossibly attractive people who never had a care in the world.”

The audience responded with laughter, apparently believing the response to be Mr. Mellencamp’s trademark dry, cheeky wit. When the artist sat still and shrugged his shoulders and remarked, “well, it’s true,” the crowd then audibly gasped, with some vomiting and others rushing out of the theater.

“We were all equal parts shocked, physically and mentally overwhelmed, and genuinely angry,” said audience member Randall King. “For me, I’m a farmer and I honestly listen to ‘Pink Houses’ every morning as inspiration to get out there and proudly do my job to feed this great nation. To hear it’s actually about a boy and his Barbie collection makes me upset to my core and now I’m questioning the work I did in the fields for the last forty years. I’m sick.”

Since the event, Americans in small towns all over the country have taken to burning Mellencamp albums, t-shirts, and autographed packs of Lucky Strikes.

On the contrary, Malibu, California has seen residents gather in pure elation, hosting parties and blaring Mellencamp music at all hours. The Mayor and City Council have issued a proclamation, declaring Mr. Mellencamp an “Honorary Malibuian” and will host an event next month to present him with a key to the city.

John Mellencamp has spent a career in occasional controversy, but Barbie-gate will no doubt define his legacy.