BLOOMINGTON, IN — A clerical error of historic proportions rocked the Bloomington Planned Parenthood Tuesday after staff discovered that their long-awaited shipment of 2,000 IUDs was, in fact, 2,000 IEDs.
According to internal sources, the supply manager placed the order using a notoriously glitchy online medical portal that repeatedly autocorrected “IUD” to “IED,” a problem staff had previously complained about when it once replaced “speculum” with “speculation.”
The delivery went unnoticed for nearly three hours, as employees assumed the unusually large wooden crates contained a bulk discount or “perhaps some heavy-duty forceps.”
The error came to light when a volunteer attempted to open one of the crates and observed that the contents looked less like contraceptives and more like “something a nervous action star disarms in the third act of a summer blockbuster.”
Planned Parenthood swiftly issued a press release assuring the public that there was “no risk to patients, staff, or anyone within a three-mile radius, give or take.”
The organization emphasized that no procedures were interrupted, noting that “these are clearly not T-shaped devices intended for uterine placement, despite what the shipping label suggests.”
Bloomington officials responded calmly, noting that mistakes happen.
“We get misdelivered packages all the time,” said Deputy Mayor Blake Richards. “Last month UPS dropped off a pallet of taxidermy owls meant for Bloomfield.”
Limestone Ledger 
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