Limestone Ledger

BLOOMINGTON, IN — Chaos and confusion swept through College Mall after employees at Spencer’s Gifts discovered a ‘Bride of Chucky’ doll display box had been torn open “from the inside,” prompting an immediate mall-wide lockdown and frantic search for what staff are now calling “an active possessed situation.”

The discovery was made shortly after 10:00 a.m., when opening crew members noticed the horror-themed collectible had vanished from a prominently featured Halloween display. The box, according to staff, appeared to have been pried apart with unnatural strength.

“At first we thought maybe someone had stolen Bride,” said still-panicked assistant manager Courtney Reeves. “But it’s Spencer’s Gifts, dude weird stuff just plain happens here. We weren’t about to risk getting stabbed by a two-foot doll-demon with the pre-packaged kitchen knife.”

Within minutes, mall security activated “Code Slasher,” a rarely used emergency response plan designed for uncontained horror merchandise incidents. All exits were sealed, Bath & Body Works was instructed to secure its inventory of flammable products, and two security officers on Segways began sweeping the concourse armed with tiny tranquilizer darts.

Witness accounts quickly added fuel to the panic. Several shoppers claimed to have seen a small figure in a wedding gown dart beneath a Sunglass Hut kiosk, while others reported hearing low, maniacal giggling near Auntie Anne’s pretzel stand. A few swore they saw teeny tiny bloody footprints leading toward the GameStop.

“It’s absolute chaos,” said mall safety director Ron Bleeker during a hastily arranged press briefing near the food court. “We advise all shoppers to remain calm, avoid dark corners, and under no circumstances attempt to engage the doll in conversation. Eye contact will result in a gruesome death.”

Spencer’s employees, meanwhile, have barricaded themselves in the lava lamp aisle and are reportedly reading Tarot cards “just in case,” while Hot Topic staff have taken to chanting a Shinto prayer for protection from the Anime Gods.

As of press time, the Bride of Chucky doll remained at large. Authorities are urging anyone who spots a two-foot woman in a bloodstained wedding dress to contact security immediately.

“This is not a joke,” Reeves said. “This is a doll with a body count. And she’s definitely still in here.”