Limestone Ledger

BLOOMINGTON, IN – A popular drinking game that involves participants sharing a communal metal beer bucket is likely responsible for a rash of hand, foot, and mouth cases.

At Nick’s English Hut, patrons often elect to play a game called Sink the Biz. The goal of the game is to pour your beer into a glass that sits in a full metal bucket of beer until the loser overflows the glass and it sinks. The beer being poured by each player is being consumed in between their turn, leading to saliva being a part of each pour.

“Sink the Biz rules,” proclaimed Indiana University Junior Nick Hader. “I know that when I lose I’m drinking a glass of beer infused with my friends’ spit, but being a STB champion is well worth a minor viral infection.”

In fact, local government and University officials have traced an emerging outbreak of hand, foot, and mouth disease back to the widely played game.

“It’s an obvious culprit,” stated Monroe County Health Department Administrator Lori Kelley. “Sink the Biz, quite frankly, is all kinds of gross. These kids spend hours drinking each other’s slobber while suppressing their immune systems with alcohol. What did they expect?”

Hand, foot, and mouth disease is more commonly seen in children, but given the right environment, the virus can also take hold in adults. Those who have played Sink the Biz in the last month are encouraged to get tested, along with a comprehensive STI check, and take prophylactic anti-viral medication.