BLOOMINGTON, IN – An eight year old child was inexplicably given a phone with all available bells and whistles that clearly exceed his youthful needs and underdeveloped mental capacity.
Ashton Cline received the Samsung Galaxy Z Fold5 in Phantom Black from his parents who obviously have more money than sense.
The phone retails for around $2,000 and comes standard with a 1TB hard drive, industry leading camera resolution, and an ultrasonic fingerprint scanner. All of which the 8 year old child is entirely incapable of utilizing.
“It’s so darn cool,” said Cline. “Like, I can text my friends and download apps as long as mom approves.”
Mother Taylor Cline bought the phone from the Bloomington Best Buy and enjoyed watching her son get so excited opening the box.
“I just walked in and asked an employee where I can find the best cell phone available,” said Mrs. Cline. “My little Ashton deserves to be the coolest kid at school and make all the other kids jealous.”
The phone is intended for use by high-level professionals and those in highly technical positions.
“I was a bit puzzled,” said Geek Squad member Christen Sample. “This is the phone of my dreams and some little undeserving puke gets it without even knowing how to maximize its advanced capabilities!”
Ashton was last seen attempting to open Candy Crush.
Limestone Ledger 
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