
BLOOMINGTON, IN — In the aftermath of a tornado that directly hit parts of Bloomington, the Federal Emergency Management Agency announced Friday morning that residents seeking federal disaster assistance must now complete a “Presidential Loyalty Verification” form prior to reimbursement.
The storm, which struck portions of the city, resulted in no injuries and limited structural damage, primarily affecting lawn furniture, vinyl siding, and one trampoline currently resting in a sycamore tree off West 3rd Street.
In a press conference held in front of a home missing a modest section of gutter and PVC piping, FEMA officials clarified that the new requirement stems from updated executive guidance under the administration of Donald J. Trump.
“This is not a political purity test,” said FEMA Regional Compliance Director Martin Kell. “It is a federal alignment safeguard designed to ensure that disaster relief funds are distributed to households demonstrating baseline executive confidence.”
Residents applying for aid are now required to complete FEMA Form 1776-P, which includes a “Statement of Presidential Confidence.” The form asks applicants to:
- Certify whether they voted in the 2024 presidential election.
- Describe the “emotional tenor” of that vote.
- Affirm that their roof damage is “unrelated to anti-administration sentiment.”
An optional section invites homeowners to attach photographs of both storm damage and “recent America First participation.”
According to FEMA guidance, relief will be distributed under a tiered prioritization model:
- Tier I: Verified Patriots – Immediate tarp placement and expedited debris removal.
- Tier II: Civic Ambivalence – Standard review timeline of 6–8 weeks.
- Tier III: Structural Skeptics – Encouraged to explore private market roofing solutions.
Officials emphasized that voting records will not be used punitively, but rather contextually.
“Federal dollars are most effective when deployed within communities aligned with federal direction,” Kell explained while standing beside an obliterated mailbox. “Storm recovery is partisanship…. um, I mean it’s a partnership.”
Several residents expressed mild confusion but indicated they would comply.
“I don’t really remember who I voted for in 2020,” said local retiree Diane Prince, whose fence now leans at a 12-degree angle. “I just need someone to look at the shed.”
A graduate student attempting to upload a photograph of a cracked birdbath reported that the FEMA portal rejected his submission due to “insufficient civic clarity.”
City officials declined to comment on the policy but confirmed that debris collection would continue “regardless of household Fox News viewership.”
At press time, FEMA clarified that applicants unable to demonstrate “affirmative executive support” would receive a complimentary yard sign reading “Weather Is Temporary, Barrel Chested Leadership Is Permanent” while their claims undergo extended review.





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