Pledge Leaves Illinois Dispensary Like Indentured Columbian Drug Mule

DANVILLE, IL – A prospective Phi Delt was seen leaving the Sunnyside Cannabis Dispensary a hot, sweaty mess en route to the Indiana border. Chad Jackson was dispatched by the Phi Delta Theta Recruitment Chair to procure THC products from the neighboring state as they remain illegal in Indiana. “I told him how much was…

Kirk Woodlawn

Dispensary, Illinois, Indiana University, THC

DANVILLE, IL – A prospective Phi Delt was seen leaving the Sunnyside Cannabis Dispensary a hot, sweaty mess en route to the Indiana border.

Chad Jackson was dispatched by the Phi Delta Theta Recruitment Chair to procure THC products from the neighboring state as they remain illegal in Indiana.

“I told him how much was riding on the mission,” said ΦΔΘ Recruit Chair Owen Harris. “This is a highly competitive process, and if Chad wants to be a Phi Delt with all the perks and privileges, he needs to prove it through high stakes drug smuggling.”

Jackson stepped up without hesitation when fraternity leadership asked who amongst the pledge class was Phi Delt material enough to transport illicit substances across state lines.

“I can’t tell you how much I want this,” stated Jackson. “The parties, the girls, the questionable academic integrity; for me, Phi Delt feels like destiny.”

Limestone Ledger will attempt to follow up with Jackson, assuming he gets crosses the border without incident.