New Unionville Baptists Rally to Rename I-69, Citing Indecency

BLOOMINGTON, IN – Members of the New Unionville Baptist Church have had enough with the name of a key Indiana thoroughfare. The Church marched alongside Interstate I-69 in protest of what they view as a public display of perversion. “The highway is an abomination,” said church member Adam Lowe. “The name is a euphemism for…

Kirk Woodlawn

Christianity, Decency, I-69, New Unionville Baptist Church, Protest

BLOOMINGTON, IN – Members of the New Unionville Baptist Church have had enough with the name of a key Indiana thoroughfare.

The Church marched alongside Interstate I-69 in protest of what they view as a public display of perversion.

“The highway is an abomination,” said church member Adam Lowe. “The name is a euphemism for a twisted sexual act that is inconsistent with the traditional norms of coitus.”

Members held signs that claimed the name of the interstate is just the beginning of what they see as an all-out immoral assault on Christian beliefs and their way of life.

“I tell my kids it’s scary if it’s not missionary,” said Baptist mother Amy Givens. “The government is subliminally telling our children and young adults that sex can actually be for pleasure and not just reproduction.”

State and Federal government officials have no plans to rename I-69.

“They are more than welcome to never travel on I-69 or to never engage in inverse copulation,” said INDOT Administrator Frank Collins.