BLOOMINGTON, IN – A storied playhouse is promoting a ticket raffle for a chance to sit next to a Congresswoman who recently made news as an eager exhibitionist at a sold out Colorado theater.
Lauren Boebert has represented the Colorado residents of US House District Three since 2021. She has been a controversial figure, often using inflammatory and divisive rhetoric and refusing to pass legislation in favor of partisan gamesmanship.
Boebert also made waves when footage was released of her and a mystery male heavy petting each other during a production of Beetlejuice in a packed theater.
“It was disgusting,” said theater attendee Michelle Simms. “My children and I were seated behind them and it was clear she was giving a through-the-pants handy.”
Boebert and her partner were asked to leave the theater after numerous complaints of moaning and genitalia flashing.
The footage has catapulted Boebert to a new level of popularity, especially from young males.
The Buskirk-Chumley Theater is now partnering with Boebert in an effort to capitalize on the heightened recognition and gin up sales for upcoming shows.
“Lauren is the hottest thing in theater attendance right now,” said Buskirk-Chumley program director Max Wegman. “We’re already seeing record interest in tickets with guys and gals lining up down Kirkwood for a chance to get an old-fashioned from the Congresswoman.”
For her part, Boebert has made recent appearances at popular local haunts often posing for pictures with fans and giving her trademark ‘jerk-off’ hand motion.
Spring season at the Buskirk-Chumley is shaping up to be a wild ride.
Limestone Ledger 
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