Rough Time of Year for Jack O’Lantern

BLOOMINGTON, IN – Halloween season is tough on a man with an eerily relevant name. Jack O’Lantern has lived in Bloomington his entire life but is yet to figure out just how to navigate the challenges that naturally come with having a name that so well suits the occasion. “It’s the worst,” lamented O’Lantern. “I…

Kirk Woodlawn

Halloween, Holiday, Irish, Jack O’Lantern, Name, Rough

BLOOMINGTON, IN – Halloween season is tough on a man with an eerily relevant name.

Jack O’Lantern has lived in Bloomington his entire life but is yet to figure out just how to navigate the challenges that naturally come with having a name that so well suits the occasion.

“It’s the worst,” lamented O’Lantern. “I have no clue what my parents were thinking, but it’s led to a life of seasonal torment.”

Jack can hardly walk the streets this time of year without some variety of bullying or harassment. Even at home, the constant smashing of pumpkins on his front porch and loud name-shaming are too much to bear.

The Jack O’ Lantern is a popular Halloween home fixture that requires the carving of a pumpkin and the placement of a candle inside to illuminate the image or pattern.

“We’re Irish-American and the name is fairly common back home,” said Mrs. Jill O’Lantern. “Jack is a family first name dating back ages. His father faced the same issues.”

Jack is debating whether or not he will continue the lineage if he has a son. For now, he is determined to make it through another tough Halloween season.