BLOOMINGTON, IN – A spontaneous group dance that appeared to be miraculously perfect in its synchronized choreography is now accused of being fraudulent.
The iconic Indiana University Sample Gates was the site of a sudden and seemingly organic outburst of joyful song and dance.
Students and faculty alike unexpectedly sprang into a flawlessly harmonized routine that stopped onlookers in their paths and left the audience gobsmacked at an apparent act of God.
“We were all mesmerized,” said Kimberly Hawthorn. “All of these random people just instantly became an elite dance troupe with every move exquisitely timed and executed.”
It now seems the group of dancers may have been a flash mob.
Flash Mobs are well-prepared and meticulously organized groups of often formally trained dancers that fool audiences into thinking their unprompted routines are divine in nature though ostensibly at random.
Federal prosecutors are now charging the flash mobsters with racketeering and defrauding hundreds of unwitting audience members.
“The bureau has been on to these toe-tappin’ gangsters for months,” said FBI Assistant Director Andrea Stevens. “They’ve been pulling fast ones on innocent bystanders left and right, potentially causing trust issues in our youth that can last lifetimes.”
The United States Attorney’s Office announced dozens of indictments under the RICO statute that allows for the government to aggregate charges when co-defendants conspire to commit crimes.
In this case, the crimes all relate to fraud and deception perpetrated upon dance routine witnesses who genuinely beloved they were seeing celestial activity taking place on earth.
Limestone Ledger 
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