BLOOMINGTON, IN – Residents of the Seminary Park tent city were seen passing a heroin loaded syringe as if they had been stranded in the Mojave for days.
Jonny “Treehouse” Carpenter and five fellow campers cooked up some China White and feverishly took turns mainlining the questionable yet perfectly suitable tent city delicacy.
“Shit, feels like me and my neighbors have gone weeks without a smackdown,” said Carpenter. “When you’ve gone this long, you have to be quick, otherwise you’re stuck with the mirage, man.”
Despite recent attempts by local government officials to ban tent cities in city parks, the campsites mostly remain.
“I understand these folks needs a place to live, I really do,” said Mayor John Hamilton. “That said, these encampments are unsightly, fraught with illegal drug use, and frankly, these people reek.”
Time will tell if city efforts put an end to the homelessness crisis. For now, though, Treehouse and his camping comrades fully intend to stay and they credit the communal needle.
“You know what rhymes with hope? Dope,” said Carpenter.
Limestone Ledger 
Leave a comment